'why are we here?'

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"Why Are We Here?

he first hardcore show i saw in denver was killing kings rebuild and some other local denver bands at sox place. i dont remember much about that show aside from loving rebuild and ever sense answering, "the music and the message," every time someone would ask "why are you here." it was a line form a killing kings son that i got stuck in my head and repeated every chance i got.. you know me you get how bad i am about that haha. i never thought much about a music in hardcore.. all i saw was dudes that were hard as fuck. on the surface hardcore was gigantic dudes 'dancing' super hard when a breakdown would kick and other mammoth dudes running back and forth across the 'pit' into my face the rest of the time. bands i saw would sing about 'repping their streets' and fighting everyone. i swear to go i heard, "step it up you faggot pussies! rep your scene!" seventeen times a band every show. being hard was happenin'! quickly i began hardcore bands in a larger spectrum. everyonw and then i would hear a line in a song or hear the singer of a band say something that would make me think. i liked it. i started getting off on people or bands challenging me to think and question. i had heard some of it before from listening to punk rock for years but was too young to care at that point. i was hearing people talk about about things my parents and authoritative figures wouldnt tell me if they knew. reluctant to change my thinking or give another way of thinking a shot i began to look at some of these issues and ideas. i thought if people felt strongly enough to dump all their money into being able to scream their throat raw every night it was worth a look. these people began to push me to examine many areas of my life and challenged me too look for my own things to care enough about to look into. the words "the music and the message," made so much more sense to me now.. man thats hella corny but its true. i learned that punk rock and hardcore arent for main stream people.. but for people looking for something more and that could see through all the shit. these people arent scared to challenge anyones thoughts or come up with their own. punk rock and hardcore is one of the places kids can turn when they decide they dont want to live the drone lives they are told to. we dont give a fuck about mtv, the oc, what fox news or cnn are telling us. without that vial we can look at things in a different light.. or as they really are.
lets side step for a second. on tv, on the radio, on the street, and where we eat we are told what to be, how to look, what to say. all fucking day people are shoving shit down our throats! .. fuck bitches in the club, wear these clothes, eat fast food, consume, consume, consume, believer whatever any authority figure tells you and most importantly DONT ASK QUESTIONS. fuck all that shit right?
okay, half a step back to where we were. we are punk and hardcore we are better than all that consumer shit, right? we dont need all that garbage.. we dont want it, right?
anyway, the more i became familiar with hardcore the more i saw all this awesome shit that made me think and work harder and educate myself. i wanted more. i dove deeper and deeper and became fairly surrounded with it. i would have never guessed what i found.. did you guess it? haha i began to see the shit we so boastfully talk so much shit about hating. i got the vibe there were kids who hated mtv and the government because they were told to. the ideals of punk and hardcore became a fucking fashion. turns out there are standards and hierarchy.. and fuck bitches and get paid was there too. we need 'croosh' clothes too! you better get some banging swag if you want to move up in calss.. without that fresh gear you wont get any respect. "your not into vinyl.. what a dork." god damn it became hard for me to keep all the shit i was supposed to be doing straight haha. i saw people 'dancing' super hard not because they were oumped but because thats what you are supposed to do. oh shit, and they would make fun of other kids cause they didnt have 'tight moves!' and christ the fucking politics! people seem, too often, to forget that we are a community not a fucking class war. we 'hate' establishment but we build our own. we fuck away our self respect and whore ourselves for 'status' in the 'scene.'
fuck all this consumer driven shit! fuck having to fit a mold! fuck this mini version of the mainstream! i sometimes find it easy to get wrapped up in being pissed at all of this hypocrisy. i hate the lack of heart, the consumption as opposed to support the profit, the hierarchy, the bullshit, blah blah blah.. but every now and then someone rolls around and renews my faith in what we have. i find people to remind me to get out of my own ass and cool it cause there are people who (you guessed it) give a shit about (oh man cue the triumphant music and cheesy lines) the music and the message. haha. i cant tell you how much it means to me to find these people. kids that work hard to put on shows out of their love for punk rock and hardcore not for recognition. kids that work toward building a community. kids that push others to learn and question. kids that dont give a fuck and see through the stupid dumbshit politics and everything else. i truly feel that the punk rock and hardcore community is incredibly important. the worlds bullshit doesnt have a foothold here. this is one of the few places that people dont listen to whatever they are told. if punk and hardcore loses its sense of community, lack of conspicuous consumption, caring, and fearlessness of authority there will be less people to fight against these things and spread a knowledge of them and encouragement to ask questions. it scares the shit out of me to think that something so so important could be lost to nikes and bullshit. i do, however, have faith that we are strong and have enough people that give a shit to remain strong. i know that its is something worth holding onto.
dont get me wrong in all of this i dotn think im the shit by any means haha.
i also dont think that all songs should be about social change.. i love hangout songs! i just just feel we have something important and it needs to remain."

saturday, august 23rd.

last night we played with our good friends never looking back. we have played with them many times before but last night was unreal. test start at the beginning. we were invited to play jeremy and justines wedding show in tacoma at the viaduct. jeremy sings for NLB and justine went on the tour we did with them (girlfriends are usually bad news but justine is the only girl i think that can be cool about it). we got to be friends with them and they wanted us to go to their wedding and play the show after! so we get to the wedding and are feeling a little weird cause we didnt know too many people and with and exception of twenty-something-year-olds kids we were the youngest ones there. we started talking and kicking it and started feeling great.. also jeff rolled up with some beers for us so we started having more fun haha. oh yeah haha.. we were lucas and i think jeff and me were over smoking by the van talking about how we wished there was more beer there and bam a truck rolls up and this dude asked us to help him grab some cases of beer. it was perfect. anyway.. the wedding was great and pretty. it was a bit hot but we had a great time. we are super excited for jeremy and justine. they are great people and very lucky to have each other and deserve to be happy. after the wedding we headed back over to joshes the drummer for NLB to hang out till the show and possibly sleep a little. we didnt get much sleep the night before cause jeff decided to go to PF changs with buckah after work theeen start driving.. so we didnt get there till around 4 in the morning. anyway some of us sleep some of us watch this old house or something and word p on joshes sister hahah. we headed to the show and started hanging out hard and had a great time. we played pretty well and even sold some shirts. before us was lion rider who played great and looked even better doing it! go check them out good dudes. a little while later this time next year played and blew us away! that band is fucking amazing and filled with amazing guys. it came time later after that for never looking backs last time to play. it started of with a chillen almost cover of beat it then straight into some ridiculously intense never looking back brand hardcore. they played 17 songs.. josh has never hit that hard i swear it was cool to see. jeremy said some real shit too he knows how to articulate feelings very well and i look up to him for it. they played better than i have ever seen. we are gonna miss the shit out of those dudes and gal. the are by far one of our favorite bands to come out of the northwest and some of our favorite people we have ever met. josh we are gonna miss you man! thanks for everything and always letting us stay at your house! jeremy and justine we are happy for you and hope you have killer luck! thanks NLB for all your help as a band.. you have helped us out a ton and we are grateful. thanks.

more than behold

last night was fucking incredible! we threw together a show with our buddies BEHOLD and had one of the best times of our lives. not only are the guys in behold fucking amazing musicians they are some of the best guys any of us have ever met. they played a fucking insane show! go listen to them right now.
also last night lucas struck again. ha i guess he has a thing for breaking the heads of singers in his band. i love the shit out of it even though it was my dome that got rocked. it kinda ended up with my face hands and tub being a bloody mess. anyway it was one of the most fun shows ever! i wish we were closer to the behold guys and rhea and jeff. anyway yeah go checkout behold.. watch the videos were gonna put up soon.. and help each other out.




photo by rhea b